Week 3

A whopping THREE teams broke the 100 point ceiling this third week of the season. I guess that should mean it was a good week? Well - unless your name is Tim, Dustin or Eric anyway. Let's see the highlights... and lowlights.

Bill v. James

Sadly, it looks like we might have to get used to seeing Bill in the top scoring matchup each week. Even when sporting a negative score from Seattle's D (-5) and a big fat goose egg from Week 2 hero JJ Nelson - Bill still put up the highest score in the league this week. The usual suspects (TB12 with 34 points and K.Hunt with 29 points) were at it again, but Bill's use of voodoo magic was evident when Sterling Shepherd (whom Bill could not sub out of his lineup because he's a cheater and is carrying 7 healthy bench players) somehow broke off 133 yards and a TD on 7 catches (24 points) in a game where OBJ and Brandon Marshall both played. Ugh. Do you all realize how miserable our lives are going to be this offseason if we allow Bill to win a championship? Anyway. For his part, James actually did have a respectable week with 86 points. (I mean, it's almost better than his first two weeks combined!) Shout out to Drew Brees (20 points) and also Jordan Howard (28 points) - who scored exactly 28 points more points than he did in week 2. Also a shout out to Eli Manning, who scored 27 points on James' bench and pretty much proved that his drafting app is really smart. (Disregard the fact that James has the lowest scoring team in the entire league through three weeks.)

Bill will DEFINITELY get his fourth win of the season against Kevin this week (jinx.... please, jinx...) while James will hope to maybe win a game... and/or put Corey Coleman on the IR and/or realize that Jonathan Williams still isn't playing in the NFL.

Nick v. Kevin

Our second highest scoring matchup of the week was also an undefeated team against an alldefeated team - and ended up with the same results. Nick put up an impressive 112 points - despite the fact that QB Matt Ryan could only manage 12 points. (And despite the fact that he traded Todd Gurley to Jared.) Luckily, he's still doing okay in the RB department with Dalvin Cook (22 points) and Devonte Freeman (21 points), not to mention the WR department with Doug Baldwin (18 points) and TY Hilton (26 points). Fun fact: Nick would've walked away from with $5 in his pocket this week if he'd started Stefon Diggs (34 points) instead of Torrey Smith (2 points). But he didn't. Oh well. It could be worse - he could be Kevin. Much like James, Kevin had his best week of the season in week three. It just wasn't quite good enough. Still, 22 points from Marcus Mariota and a pair of matching 19 point scores from WR Chris Hogan and AJ Green give some hope that Kevin might win a game some time this year. (You know, if he can maybe wish two actual running backs into existence on his bench.)

Nick will try to stay undefeated in week 4 against slightly stiffer competition in the form of last year's luckiest player (Andrew). Kevin, on the other hand, will likely stay winless whether he tries to or not as he meets this year's obviously luckiest player (Bill).

Jeremy v. Earl

Okay, I don't want to alarm anyone here - but Jeremy is only one game back from first place. (I know, I know. It's only week 3 - but still.) HE'S GOT A WINNING RECORD! Can he count on getting 33 points from Russell Wilson every week? Probably not. Can he count on getting 24 points from Sammy Watkins every week? Doubtful. Can he count on getting 2 points from Nelson Agholor every week? Probably. Can he count on benching his best TE every week? Definitely! I kid, I kid. It was a good week from Jeremy to fend off Earl - who had a decent week going with Le'Veon Bell (15 points) actually show up along with decent 13 point weeks from both Davante Parker and Leonard Fournette. But a pair of big ole' zeroes from TE Kyle Rudolph and (shockingly) QB Derek Carr were just too much to overcome - even with Larry Fitz pouring on 22 points on Monday night. A few more disappointing outcomes like this and Earl will go from Upper Decker to down the drain in short order.

Jeremy has decent odds of continuing his winning ways in week 4, since he only has to play Tim.  Earl probably isn't far behind as he matches up with Eric - who's looked more like a pretender than a contender since his big week one showing.

Tim v. Jared

Jared, like several other owners in week 3, started things off with a bang on Thursday night as Todd Gurley (34 points?!) once again looked like the biggest trade steal our league has ever seen. He kept up the magic on Sunday afternoon with Brandin Cooks (30 points) finally living up to the hype and posting a 131 yard, 2 TD gem against the usually decent Houston Defense. But past that, a couple of 17 point outings from QB Carson Palmer and WR Jordy Nelson were the only other high points on Jared's roster. (Week 2 hero Travis Kelce recorded one catch for one yard!) Seeing as how he only needed Cooks and Gurley to beat Tim's pitiful scored, though, we won't fault him on it... not this time, anyway. But how shall we fault Tim? Let me count the ways. QB Cam Newton was projected at 17 points but only managed 3, thanks to four interceptions against arguably the worst defense in the league. RB Jay Ajayi was also projected at 17 points against the pitiful NY Jets but managed only 16 yards on his eleven carries, good for just one point. That'll definitely put you behind the eight ball - but then again, so will getting just 7 points a piece from all three of your "good" WRs. (I'm looking at you Dez Bryant, DeAndre Hopkins and Emmanuel Sanders!) Through three weeks, Tim has only scored 184 points - which puts him ahead of only James the weak. Yikes.

Looking ahead to week 4, Jared faces off against Dustin and is either a favorite or an underdog - depending on which Dustin shows up. Tim matches up with Jeremy and will almost certainly wind up on suicide watch if he loses.

Eric v. Matt

Some days even a blind squirrel finds a nut... especially when that blind squirrel has Aaron Rodgers (20 points) and Antonio Brown (19 points) on his roster! Yes, Matt is somehow the fourth highest scoring team in the league despite the fact that he couldn't even be bothered to show up for the draft. The good news - Rodgers and Brown looked like Rodgers and Brown. Plus, Golden Tate (12 points) and Robert Woods (12 points) looked like serviceable team members. The bad news? LeSean McCoy (6 points) got outscored by Frank Gore (11 points). So it's kind of a crap shoot which way Matt's team will go. But for the time being - he's in second place in his division! Eric on the other hand is pretty clearly trending southerly. After scoring 114 points in week one, he's not managed to total half of that in either of the subsequent two weeks. Ouch. Although it's not exactly a shocking turn of events when you have three (3) zeroes in your starting lineup (Jeremy Maclin, Amari Cooper, Jack Doyle) and also bench a guy who scores 22 points (Demarco Murray). Still, the fact that keeper Michael Thomas finally found the end zone in week three is a hopeful sign. I mean, right? Right?! RIGHT?!?! Yeah, I don't buy it either. But only time will tell.

Matt draws a bye week in week four as he matches up with James while Eric will face fellow underachiever Earl in a battle to see if either of them is still even close to relevant in this league.

Andrew v. Dustin

And that brings us to the bottom of the barrel where we find Andrew and Dustin. Well, not so much Andrew this week. He was actually pretty decent thanks to Kirk Cousins (30 points!) finally showing up, Melvin Gordon scoring 13 points for the third week in a row, Carlos Hyde continuing to break out (until he gets hurt - which he will) with 21 points and Odell Beckham jack-assing to way to 19 points. Not to say that Andrew shouldn't be a little worried about that zero put up by Kelvin Benjamin (who might be hurt again) and the fact that his bench looks like a hospital ward with one player on IR, two more who didn't play this week due to injury and Darren McFadden who's been a healthy scratch for two weeks in a row now. (Maybe he was just visiting the other guys?) But, truth be told, Andrew didn't have to try very hard this week to beat Dustin. Just one week removed from a breakout 106 point score - Dustin couldn't even manage half of that with 48 total points. You know who scored more points than that this week? Everyone. Including Dustin's bench (69 points.) Highlighted by Chris Thompson (26 points) there was definitely lots of... uh... help available for Dustin, had he made some better choices. In fact - an "optimized" roster for him could've scored as many as 102 points! But Dustin was in "Mexico" so his roster wasn't "optimized" and he "lost again".

Andrew will need some magic if he wants to continue his winning ways against undefeated Nick in week 4 while Dustin will need his WR1 and WR2 not to be injured if he hopes to even up his record at 2-2 against Jared.

1-888-F-SPORTS.